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Carrot and Cabbage are best friends, they go everywhere together. They drink together, they party together, they even spend Christmas at each other's house.
Home Grown Laughter
One day are Carrot and Cabbage find themselves "embarrassingly sober" on a Friday night, so they go to a bar for a few pints. And leave twelve pints (each) later.
On the way home Cabbage stumbles into the road drunk. There is heavy traffic, most of it being driven by guys coming home from bars who are two drunk to react quickly.
Cabbage is hit by one car and flys across the road, where he is again hit by a car going in the other direction. A third car swerves to miss the first, and runs over Cabbage. A fourth car piles into it, pushing it forward so that the rear wheels run over Cabbage too. More cars fail to stop, and pile into the mess until Cabbage is under a twenty seven car pile up.
An ambulance eventually arrives, but cannot get to Cabbage because of the cars on top of him. The police cordon off the road, cranes and forklifts are brought in, and the road, slowly, carefully cleared. Survivors are taken to hospital, a few unfortunate drivers are taken to the morgue.
But Cabbage is at the epicentre. They rescue team moves slowly because of the injured, and Cabbage lies there for over seventeen hours before they can get to him.
Carrot sits at the side of the road all this time, worried for his friend (and gradually sobering up). Eventually they get to Cabbage who has lost a lot of blood, is unconscious, and is barely breathing. They do what they can without moving him, then gently lift him into an ambulance and drive him to hospital. Carrot rides with them to the hospital.
Cabbage is immediately taken into surgery. Hours pass. Finally the surgeon comes out, looking grim.
"How is he, Doc?" asks Carrot.
The surgeon replies, "He'll live. But for the rest of his life he'll be a vegetable."
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